Snuff You Out
by Fiore's Kisenianblossom
Summary: This is a songfic I was inspired to write. Damon's POV as he bounces over the thin line between love and hate again and again; about how Katherine left him... with his brother. Set to 'Snuff' by: Slipknot. I own nothing. Please enjoy.


**(A. N. Keep in mind that I have seen only the first season of this series. So this is all I have got from Damon so far as to his feelings toward Katherine. Hope you enjoy! ^-^ )  
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**Snuff You Out**

The pain that shot through my body electrified every nerve ending. For a brief, fleeting moment, I believed I was in Hell. Then, I felt Heaven. Of my own free will, I allowed her to do this to me. I begged for it. I took in a sharp breath as she buried deeper. I felt revived and alive, but, I know, come the morning, I would feel guilt. Shame, guilt, distrust and jealousy. The same feelings I still have every time I see him; my brother. She just walked about with a smile and that teasing laugh with those piercing eyes that can still bring any man down to his knees even when she's not purposely 'compelling' him too.

~Bury all your secrets in my skin.  
>Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins.~<p>

I couldn't and still can't breath when I'm around her. I can't think. I can't move without her order. Even when she is not around me, I cannot function normally. My mind is filled with her. Her scent, the sound of her voice, the feel of her body... the way she pulled my very essence out... the taste of her life which flowed down my throat. It was and still is intoxicating. I love her. But, when she spoke, I heard lies. I ignored them. When she stared into my soul, I saw a raging madness that excited me.

~The air around me still feels like a cage.  
>And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again.~<p>

Her presence was suffocating. Like being tangled in a spider's web. She wove her webs so intricately that she was the only one who could climb out of them without being caught herself.

When I awoke, I was weak, tired, and hungry. As soon as I saw my brother, I felt a rage run through my veins. 'Why is he here? How could she?' I remember those thoughts clearly. It wasn't until Emily told us what had happened that I believed her love to be true. After all, if you love something, let it go, right?

~So if you love me let me go.  
>And run away before I know.~<p>

I was a fool. I swore to make the rest of eternity for my brother a living Hell. All because of her. I learned how to shut it off. Shut of the emotions. Shut out the humanity and enjoy the wold around me in the most primal way; fulfilling all of my most carnal desires. There was no longer room for what had made me human for so long. Emptiness filled the space she created. You'll never understand how odd or amusing it is to 'feel an oxymoron' to such a depth.

~My heart is just too dark to care.~  
>I can't destroy what isn't there.~<p>

I allowed her to do this to me and leave me. Because of him, she is gone. I have no brother. I am alone.

~Deliver me into my fate.  
>If I'm alone I cannot hate.~<p>

I couldn't protect her. I swore too. I told him not to go to anybody. He didn't listen. I failed. I prance and smile for my food. It is all fake. There is no life without her. Eternity is meaningless without her. My happiness was all for her. I've shut it all down. The pain. The guilt. The shame. I don't want it back. He can harbor it all for the both of us. He deserves that burden.

~I don't deserve to have you.  
>Oh, my smile was taken long ago.<br>If I can change I hope I never know.~

'You never really stop loving someone. You just learn to try to live without them' Says the man who still carries her picture. 'True love burns the brightest. But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.' Another piece of sentimental drivel that I smirk at, though subconsciously agree with. And my favorite one. 'Love isn't a feeling. It's an ability.' That one's 'ability' to love is found on her clit. Daddy issues.

~I still press your letters to my lips.  
>And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss.<br>I couldn't face a life without your light.~

Yet here I am, like a puppet.

~But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight.~

You didn't even try. You bitch.

~So save your breath I will not care.  
>I think I made it very clear.<br>You couldn't hate enough to love.  
>Is that supposed to be enough?~<p>

He wasn't supposed to be with _us_! He was supposed to age, have a family and die!

~I only wish you weren't my friend.  
>Then I could hurt you in the end.~<p>

I can't turn it off with you. I can't hurt you. I can't even scratch that pretty face of your twin. The one who's with him.

~I never claimed to be a saint.~

Far from it.

~Oh, my own was banished long ago.  
>It took the death of hope to let you go.~<p>

You weren't there! I tried for so long and yet that tomb was empty to me. You weren't there! _All hope is gone._ Shattered with one look. Nothing matters. Katherine. You make me so angry that I just want to throw you in the middle of flying stakes soaked in vervain! But then, I realize... I would probably kill myself trying to save you. I know what true love means. Love means that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be. But you will never be happy you selfish, greedy bitch.

~So break yourself against my stones.  
>And spit your pity in my soul.<br>You never needed any help.  
>You sold me out to save yourself!~<p>

You left me to fend for myself!

~And I won't listen to your shame  
>You ran away you're all the same.~<p>

Don't speak to me. You will never change.

~Angels lie to keep control.~

You were more than an angel. You were a Goddess. Manipulating, vindictive and spiteful. You spoke nothing but half-truths and whole lies.

~Oh, my love was punished long ago.  
>If you still care don't ever let me know.~<p>

I can't take it. You'll break me.

~If you still care don't ever let me know!~

I'll always come back. As soon as you show an ounce of concern, I will come crawling back and for this, I will always hate you. I am disgusted with myself. But, it is my undying love for you that I crawl to you. Please, teach me how to shut this down. No. You won't. You like having that one switch on. The one switch reserved only for you. I hate you for toying with me... even for toying with Stefan... but I will always come back for more. I wish... I could just... snuff you out.


End file.
